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| "She only comes out at night" |
So what is this thing that teenage girls (and boys and adults) have with vampires. Why would anyone be drawn to a creature that inflicts pain and fear on others? Why would we walk towards an undead being that would see one as a piece of meat more than anything else.
Of course when said vampire (or werewolf) is played by a very good looking boy with a certain androgyny or a Monster High doll for the younger kids, we can understand, but there is a darker side to the fascination. Being called 'dark' or 'evil' is far better than being called 'creepy' or 'weird'. Serial killers get nude pics and marriage proposals.
I have never been a teenage girl and my last personal interaction with a teenage girl was 15 years ago. (Relax, she was 18 and I was... a bit older.)
Fortunately for us, I believe in the universal subconscious and have almost immediate access to every emotion felt and every thought thunk by anyone ever.
The teenage mind is readily accessible with the right preparation. A mixture of raging hormones, peer pressure, great expectations and parents in their psyche will reduce the casual observer to a quivering wreck in seconds.
Thankfully wine, cigarettes, age and too many swift ones off the wrist have made me impervious to these distractions. I shall go there shortly.
Vampires are a bit more difficult, since they don't exist. So let us look at the best known foundational myth of vampires. For this we can turn to my great, great X 27 uncle, Vlad the Impaler. You see, my family's name was originally von Schwarzenburg. We came from a region of southern Germany adjacent to Wallachia and Vlad's brother, Radu, was the duke of Schwarzenburg.
Uncle Vlad was known for his cruel but effective methods in war. It can be argued that he played a decisive part in saving Europe from the Ottomans in 1462. He achieved this by destroying vast border areas and killing every man, woman, child and beast in that place; by filling the battlefield with the impaled captives (impaled anus to aorta on wooden poles) from previous battles and raids, some still crying out as they bled to death from internal wounds. By being, in short, the nastiest man in town.
And for that he was cursed by the pope and by the people. He and his family and all their descendants to the end of time were excommunicated and damned. As a final insult, many hundreds of years after his death, a drunk Irishman took his story and turned it into a caricature which persists to this day. Vlad III, Dracul, Prince of Wallachia became Dracula of Transylvania, a blood sucking demon that did not die. He has not died.
There is a legend in my family that any son born with a birthmark on the neck will die a violent death before his fiftieth year, an interesting twist on the bite marks of vampires. It is a silly superstition, but my uncle Clive had a birthmark on the back of his neck and he died in a car accident when he was 52.
Thankfully wine, cigarettes, age and too many swift ones off the wrist have made me impervious to these distractions. I shall go there shortly.
Vampires are a bit more difficult, since they don't exist. So let us look at the best known foundational myth of vampires. For this we can turn to my great, great X 27 uncle, Vlad the Impaler. You see, my family's name was originally von Schwarzenburg. We came from a region of southern Germany adjacent to Wallachia and Vlad's brother, Radu, was the duke of Schwarzenburg.
Uncle Vlad was known for his cruel but effective methods in war. It can be argued that he played a decisive part in saving Europe from the Ottomans in 1462. He achieved this by destroying vast border areas and killing every man, woman, child and beast in that place; by filling the battlefield with the impaled captives (impaled anus to aorta on wooden poles) from previous battles and raids, some still crying out as they bled to death from internal wounds. By being, in short, the nastiest man in town.
And for that he was cursed by the pope and by the people. He and his family and all their descendants to the end of time were excommunicated and damned. As a final insult, many hundreds of years after his death, a drunk Irishman took his story and turned it into a caricature which persists to this day. Vlad III, Dracul, Prince of Wallachia became Dracula of Transylvania, a blood sucking demon that did not die. He has not died.
There is a legend in my family that any son born with a birthmark on the neck will die a violent death before his fiftieth year, an interesting twist on the bite marks of vampires. It is a silly superstition, but my uncle Clive had a birthmark on the back of his neck and he died in a car accident when he was 52.
The myth of vampires transforms historical facts into a farce for the entertainment of the masses. Families take the story of a long dead descendant and turn it into a curse, a 'raison de se cacher'; a reason to hide from the world.
This does not explain the teenage girls attraction to this figure, though. Vlad is a better as a role model for hedge fund managers than as the object of teenage affections.
I have put off that access to the teenage mind long enough. Let me see...
This does not explain the teenage girls attraction to this figure, though. Vlad is a better as a role model for hedge fund managers than as the object of teenage affections.
I have put off that access to the teenage mind long enough. Let me see...
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im fat no one will ever want to marry me i have a test on monday i should have studied tonight clint is quite a caring guy everyone will laugh at me if i speak to him i told sandy that james is sooo cute he's ok whats moms problem i know she has issues but shit she should just sort them out i don't know why she and mike are still together i bet she is doing it for me and sandy thats so fucking i mean bloody messed up does she think she is doing us a favour by staying with that arsehole they fight every night the way he looks at me the creep...
i frigged myself last night its wrong but what about how steve said he was a vampire the idiot but what if vampires really existed...
i frigged myself last night its wrong but what about how steve said he was a vampire the idiot but what if vampires really existed...
He stands at the top of the marble staircase. He is dressed all in black with a cape. The inside of the cape is dark red satin.
I stand at the bottom of the stairs. I am scared, but I can't move. There are people all around me. Everyone is looking up at him, but he is only looking at me.
He slowly walks down the stairs. He smiles at me. I can see his incisors are long. Jesus, he is handsome. No, not Jesus, I will scare him away if I think that.
He walks straight to me. He reaches out and takes my hand, "Shall we dance?" The band starts playing and we dance. I don't know how to dance but he looks into my eyes and it just happens. He is so strong.
He dances with me the whole night. He takes me to his table on the stage. There are some very important people at the table, he is talking to them and they are laughing. I understand everything that is happening. The whole night his hand is on my leg.
Then the band stops playing and the people at our table disappear. There are still people below us at other tables around the dance floor.
He looks at me, he stares straight into my soul. "I want you to stay the night. Do you understand what that means?"
I am not sure, is he going to drink my blood? Am I going to die? I nod yes. He is so beautiful. I will do anything he asks.
"Say it." He commands.
"You want to drink my blood."
"NO! I do not want your blood, I want you."
I'm confused. I just stare at him. "You are going to be mine. Forever. We will drink the blood of others together."
"But why me?"
"Don't you understand? You are beautiful, I want you to be my bride. You will have everything you ever wanted. You will lack for nothing. But you must understand the cost. Your life as you know it will be gone forever. You will be tutored here, you will grow to a woman. Your family will be taken care of but you will never be able to return to them. I love you, Belle. You are such a beauty and I know I am a beast..."
---
Ooookay...
Beauty and the Beast = Vampires? Did we give our daughters a monster to play with when they were young and it grew up with them? A monster that offers them escape from the mundane. Who offers everything and demands everything. Who may yet be saved from his curse by a working class girl.
Do our sons fantasise about being a beast? Do they sometimes look in the mirror and realise that they will never be prince charming, but Dracula, the Hulk or Al Pacino? Maybe.
I have had some flirtations with the darkness, here is one:
"What would you believe
To relieve
The insane
Pain
Of nothing?
I cut myself
As the blood flowed freely
I took it as ink and wrote
Above my bed
"I AM"
Ultimate insult to the god of my fathers
Final acknowledgement of the blood of my mothers (Blest be ye)"
Perhaps I should look inside myself for these answers. Why do I love the darkness? Why am I drawn to be Dracul? Why is it that a girlfriend expressed the fantasy above in relation to me?
The void. We all know the void. It is with us every day. Some use it as a canvas, some mock it, most ignore it. A few look into it.
I quite enjoy the void. It is calm. No one comes looking for me there. There are no bills there, no chakras to clear, no relationships to rescue, no dogs to walk and no cats to feed. It is the grave animated. It is infinity and eternity. I can sit there and be insignificant in peace.
At the high table of count Dracul there are no parents, no exams, no questions about what you are going to do with your life. There is no prince charming to sweep you off your feet before you have even found them. He is dark, he is dangerous, he is powerful. He is all or nothing. He is the final grave and the temporary pleasure.
Come, drink.
(DISCLAIMER: The true story of Vlad III is even more awesome than my version. My father's male line come from a stone mason in Pomerania who came to SA in 1839. However my mother's paternal line does come from the brother of a man killed in a cathedral Robert the
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